This is a personal essay about a period of major suffering from chronic pain I went through, and how I acquired the knowledge and skill to eventually lift me out of it. A fire burning # I am about to give up. My eyes are bleary after four days of staring at numpy arrays. I want to smash my keyboard and throw it out into the snow, but I have promised myself that I will fix this bug by the end of the week. Besides a dull headache, I feel the usual ache in my wrists. This time, though, my forearms ...